woke up from my restless sleep feeling guilty.very. and the principal had to worsen it. the very morning she had to speak about decorum. decorum decorums and more decorumss. i felt so sick listening to the talk. like it was pointing at me. indirectly. though it wasn't. i knew it wasn't.


like zhuzhu, am trying to be more open in my entries too. but some feelings can't be put into words. like not in writing nor in speaking. and these thoughts just keep swimming in my head. it doesn't feel very good. i feel very lost. like there's shattered pieces of thoughts here and there and i don't know how to go about picking them up and piecing them together.


ohhs. and nessa tagged me quite sometime ago. so here's to fufil dear nessa's tag :)


The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Need to mention the sex of the target. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged. If tagged the 2nd time, theres no need to post again.


Sex : male
Qualities:
1. he must be able to comminicate with me. or i must be able to communicate with him. hahs. either way. i need not him to be exactly eloquent but he must be there to talk to me.


2. ambitious. he need to know what he wants in future. if not a long long time later, at least in the near future. i like guys who know what they want and work towards them :)


3. he must be a non smoker. really. he must be able to know what's good for him before he can take care of me.


4. boyish charm. i like guys with a kindof boyish charm. and i duno how to explain such charm but i'll know when i see it. or feel it. :)


5. he need to understand that there are other things i love such as travelling, the arts, sleeping and running. :)


6. he must be able to give me space. i dun like restrictions and i like meeting and knowing people. he must be able to trust me enough to give me my space.being protective is good. being over-protective is not..


7. he must know how to have fun. not exactly wild fun. but fun enough to not be boring.maybe a little more than that. hahs. having humour is a plus point :)


8. be there for me when im down. and care enough for me. i think these are d most important. really.


hahs. i think it's quite obvious i don't have a lot of points. and i can't describe the person as well as nessa or manday. maybe i don't really know what i want either. actually, i don't. really.

i want you in my arms ;
- 4:55 AM

some weeks ago i was happily living this life of mine. can't they stop it. stop piling us with assignments and tests. they aren't making me any smarter. the results just make me feel stupider.


roses. red, pink, blue and peach. i think flowers are really prettie. thankew dear friends :) and esp. leehui who came all d way to my house to deliver the rose. thankewyou all friends for the little gifts, many many chocs and sweets.d sweetness would last for a long time. :)


ivan was nice enough to go shopping with me for vday gifts. and we ended up buying d same things lah. hahas. how kuku. but of cos, mine turns out nicer :pP


the most kuku gift came from issac. hahas. raw eggs from seven eleven opposite college. when he gave some of us during lunch, we were really bemused. but can't think of how we could to carry it around d whole day (without breaking). so issac decided to take some of our eggs and asked d canteen auntie to fry. so cute. we had a plate full off eggs. and they were all taken up in seconds :)


was at bugis the other day.
people: would u like to take part in a couple contest?
me: laughs real loud. he: we're not a couple. (both tries to walk away)
people: it's ok if you're not a couple, d minium prize is to be won is...
he(cutting in): isit today?
people: yes, and u only have to go on stage to do Q&A.
he: im not free today and she too.
HAHS. i jus found it pretty amusing that we were stopped like that. like i could just imagine how we'll get all the questions wrong if we do take part.hahas.


i think i stone alot. today d principal walked past me and asked if i was ok cus i seemed 'very preoccupied with my thoughts' as she said. her sudden 'good afternoon' shocked me. i was really merely stoning.hahs.


saturday is d college's roadrun. or cross-crountry as i've known it for 5 yrs. many of us don't know how to register or forgot about it and only found out about the registering at mass pe today. so we got to know that d house comm has picked some ppl to run in teams. some were picked and some randomly chosen cus d house comm seriously can't know d whole year2 cohort. so am not running competitively for d first time in five years. feels abit weird. but good in a way. seeing how i got my ankle twisted last week and it just got worst after running today.also, my stamina has been decreasing. and there isn't d class spirit award to fight for. then again, who can deny the brief moment of glory and happiness of winning medals and knowing that you've done something worthy for d class? even if those feelings wear off and d medals now sit rustily in my cabinet, it's d fond memories of hugging teamates and jumping in joy that made d rusty metals meaningful. isn't it? hms. shall be more relaxed and slow this yr. though i promised elks i'll run with her. and she runs real fast. i think i'll lose her halfway. hahs.


happy very BELATED 18th birthday YIJUN! *huggs* u're d first of us turning 18. hahs. stop growing anymore taller ahs. :)

i want you in my arms ;
- 7:16 AM

photos! HAHS.





lets start from christmas! hehs. all of these prezies are mine. MINE! hahs. i wish. less than half are mine . hehs :)





yayness! this was d company's high-tea to celebrate a very very early christmas. and my face was too red from too much champagne. haas.





it's interesting how candid shots like this shows how people are like. like vic is aways ready posing for d cam, danlan looks like she's really enjoying her cocktail, xiaolan looks like she's really lost is lala land, relm is pulling her ears and i don't know why and i have no idea who im laughing at. hahs.





orientation06! this is part of my og. less than half it actually. we really had fun! and i love them loadds. and i really blend in well with yearones :) heh.





we went mad after mass dancing at suntec's fountain of wealth. wet with pesperation, fountain water and what not, we ran around the fountain slapping hands and crossing bridges. ran like dozen of rounds. haas. ahh. i wana do it all over again!






(leeched this from bentay's friendster :) ) was jumping and dancing like madness on orientation nite. wish it never had to end. and zenith is da best! yayness.





the most awesome ogls of zenith. and we rock so much! :)





(leeched from ivan's blog. thankewyou!) after a veryveryvery tiring geog fieldtrip on 4th feb. was really laughing to myself when i saw this on ivan's blog. love it! like what ivan said, our sanity is questionable, posing like this despite d drizzle turning into rain. in the high-end CBD area still. and we all look really gay and merry, jumping in d third pic. haas. and according to ivan, yokey looked demonic. so cute! and i wonder why ivan needed to use me and suxin as supports for his jump in pic 2. issac looked really scary in pic1 too.nyahas.and zhu is so tall that she jumped out of pic3! hahass.





this was my lunch for that day. soup bowl at raffles's soup spoon! yumms :) nessa wanted to take this lovely picture with my hands! haas. nahhs.






we're all looking into d mirror of d soup spoon. quoting from ivan, we looked like we're in a painting! don't we all have beautiful reflections :)





a better squeeze this time. ahhs. we shall go photowhoring again soon! nyahas.



next day after field trip, went out with vic and BIG UNCLE randz to tm. wanted to watch i not stupid too but out of tix. (again) d same wed went with zhu,mab and xt also out of tix. can't believe it lahhs. hahs. neways. we ended up watching fun with dick and jane. pretty lame movie but funny nevertheless. and d guy beside me was constantly having hyperventilation. he and his friend was laughing so uncontrollably i found them really amusing. hahs.


it was raining really heavily after d movie so i took an mrt instead. though randz lives in bedok, he dropped off with me and vic at eunos after bedok. and we sent vic off on 63 before taking 60 home. haas. thankew you BIG UNCLE. :) it's nice sometimes to have ppl to send home, esp. when it's cold and rainy. he wanted to pay for cab but i didn't find it justifiable to pay 240 extra since we live so near.haas. and this was what we were doing openly on d bus:




nyahas.okes. maybe not me. this was after i dropped off too. haas.cus my bubble really didn't want to come out. and i blew and blew till i was breatheless still no bubbles! and i went home and try in front of d mirror. still no bubbles! nevermind. practice makes perfect. haas.


i really really wana learn new jazz dancing. RAHH! ahh. 200 over bucks.no time. no money. so sad. hais. and im seriously losing interst in studies. ive not studied for most of d tests so far. d most just flip flip and then i'll fall asleep. no wonder my resluts are dropping like mad. and i don't know how. i can't find d motivation to memorise or study. there must be more to life. im sure.


who are you to make me miss you so much.it's not even fair. you know.

i want you in my arms ;
- 2:13 AM