am feeling an immense immense sense of emptiness. i haven't been feeling so for a long long time. i feel that something is critically lacking, missing. something i can't fathom and cannot grasp. hais.


*

i think i needa open my eyes bigger. people have been telling me they saw on on the trains..jus last week there were a few..raymond..sijie..but ive never been able to spot people! so sijie had a nice time laughing at me. ohgayyslohs.

i want you in my arms ;
- 11:17 PM

i want you in my arms ;
- 11:38 AM

awwsmans.

i think i was too spoilt at symantec. not work wise..cus i still have my own work to do and everyone is busy there..but there, i was surrounded by friends who cared so much.

1. when i was sick, raymond bought me lozenges and left it on my table sekerletly one day afterlunch.
2. they mk sure im home safe and sound when i go out with them at night (kw wont even let me nt sms him though it was just a matter of going up the lift)
3. when ive no time to lunch, they bought food and drinks without me asking to.
4. I had a brilliant alarm clock that calls me to wake me up in the mornings.
5. Ive msges left sekerletly in my bag to ask me to cheer up when i was feeling down.
6. when im overly stressed, i would be drowned with tibits (i miss tl's and ken's happy-pretzels!) till i forgot abt my stress.


mans. all the laughter we've been through, 16hrs together at days sometimes. even breakfast, lunch and dinner was in sysmantec. the compaints we had to one another abt. work. the fun we had. the nonsense we talked abt. awwsmans. i dont think i'll every get such awesome colleagues again. it'll never be the same.


today, i was so pissed cus work was kept being thrown at me. and it's all the nitty gritty stuffs that is getting on my nerves. at first, i felt okies doing them. but they're so difficult to follow up!
and im okies with work thrown at me. im NOT okies when she throws work at me without telling me anything. if you karn bother to explain, i karn bother to do. i mean, do u think i could read your mind when i dont even know a single thing abt. the project? arghs.


and feel like a maid cum secretary. the guys at symantec would never ever make me go and buy food for THEM (nt for myself) with my PENGUIN WALK. and i was also tld to go to the new office, to tk the measurements and draw the floor plan with my PENGUIN WALK. i refused and said i'll go the next day. im nt gona tumble my way there can. do i even look like a technician that can draw floor plans, look at cable and phone and power points? pls. i hate anything technical. and i even tld her that already. it's bad enough that she puts me fully in charge of the renovations. and now these. and she says nobody is free to do all these. hello. hire a better contractor. if not why can some ppl sit at their desk surf net and others plan their personal holiday? u tell me that is being TOO busy. i tell u. it's really shittes lahhs.


really, my aunt is my only form of moral support here if not i'll really scream 'IQUIT!' . manns. and i really yearn to do that every morn when i wake up. at least my aunt bothers explaining the work she gives to me and dont treat me like a maid.


i really miss them. reallyreallyreally...

i want you in my arms ;
- 11:41 PM

i knew ytd wasnt my day can.

firstly, when i squeezed up the crowded mrt in the morn, a zillion people stepped on my feet and pushed me around.

then i was given more work than usual at my workplace.

then i started to have a pounding headache.

my boss says i look damn pale. and i was really feeling feverish.

then i pulled a muscle when dancing.

and when i was at lagoon with yueting, kaiwei, serkheng, wenwei, mingxiong, janis, her bf, kaini and bernard, a BIG swarmp of flying cockroaches decided to surround us. and mannns. im damn damn afraid of cockroaches can. and flying ones for that matter. ewwwws. and one of them decided to land on my neck. omgs. i just freaked out can.

and then, i gt a lousypok bike during late night cycling and that lousypok bike together with my threethousand years rusty lousypok bike skills made me fell on all fours on a road surface. mannns. mx described me as 'dancing in the air'. think bernard saw the whole thing and knew it was my bike that made me fell. so now im walking like a penguin. no kiddings.

and then on the way home, kw tried to help me find medication at d sevenelevens.sosweets. he karn believe that they dont sell general medication for bruises and cuts. neither did i. but it's not my day : (

so today, i dragged my penguin feet to celebrate my mum's bdae at amara hotel cus i haven't been spending time with them for quite awhilees. and dad had to find d hotel in which the restaurant is nearest to the entrance. sosweets.

and im reallyreallyreally sorry for all the appointments that i cant make it. :( sorry...


ohohohs. and HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANDAY!! :) -huggggggsss-

i want you in my arms ;
- 11:46 PM

the six of us, on the breakwater. with a thousands tiny stars above. the endless nightsky lined with pretty puffs of clouds. our chatters sent acrossed by the lovely, light sea breeze. us, in our little world. as if only we existed on that little piece of stone land.
i wished the night never ended.

i love them. yt,rach,kw,sk,mx :)

*

i finally satisfied my cravings for buttermilk biscuits at the airport. thankewyou! haas. my korkor is gona spoil me.


*

you know you've been working too hard, too much. when you start typing ur laptop's password for every kind of passwords. and when you get nightmares on reports.

*

i'd love to fly away.

*

my korkor is d greatest uncle agony :) hehs.

*

ns is robbing away my friends.

*

for dreams are merely just dreams.

i want you in my arms ;
- 11:39 PM

ive never been in such a bad mood. i just feel like taking endless long walks and screaming into the big sea.


thankewyou kw and sk for taking me out at 2am. the sea and laughter did wonders.
the lovely wind beating around. hair on the face, driving down the long roads to the airport.
the tiny sea breeze. the run to fill our tummies. the messy breakfast table.
the childish desires. the moon and stars and music in our ears.
i'll do it all over again.

i want you in my arms ;
- 7:37 AM